Pie Failure

12 Mar

I hate to admit failure but I failed. On two counts. I spent all that time reminiscing about pie heaven in quality pie pubs and had resolved to visit one during British Pie Week only to have circumstances overtake me and give me the bird in their wing mirror. Still, I had to try and did manage to make a simple pie with the least possible ingredients. It was a recipe from an old Fuller’s Fine Ale Club magazine called Porter Pie and let’s just say it was tad underwhelming. While I’m not the best at following recipes, I am trying not to add one of my own little twists to every single thing I make these days as others often have to suffer the consequences of these (don’t hear them complaining when it comes off mind!). And so it went:

Ingredients: diced onions, mushrooms, cubed steak, Worcestershire sauce, flour (or alternative), Fuller’s London Porter, water, parsley, puff pastry.

Now, I’m sure even my mate Bob would know how to knock up this pie based on those ingredients.  I made it and a couple of hours later I had a pie which was, well, ok.  Nothing more, nothing less. It was obvious really. Deflated, I thought of the Porter that went into the pie that I could have drunk, and the extra twists and flavours I could have used and the money that I did spend (admittedly not all that much, but that’s not the point) and was ready to break down.

The only way I saw out of this was to pretend that I was a student again and that my last culinary success had been a microwaved baked potato and a can of cold value beans. It worked. Suddenly, the room transformed. There I was at the Fat Duck experiencing tastes and sensations hitherto unknown to mankind and joy and happiness once more reigned supreme.

Actually, that last bit was bollocks but, fortunately, people elsewhere on the net have had much better luck with their beery pies. I myself will return to fight another day.

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